


my favorite by far is you

by onwardlexa (NoxWrites)



Series: prompts [1]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Angst, F/F, Fluff, Soulmate AU
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-01
Updated: 2016-12-01
Packaged: 2018-09-03 10:55:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,464
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8709688
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoxWrites/pseuds/onwardlexa
Summary: prompt; what if your soulmate's name and your enemy's name each appeared on one wrist but you don't know which is which?
or
Clarke has Lexa on both wrists.





	

**Author's Note:**

> I know I should be working on born of two worlds!au but this prompt has been haunting me and I promised one very nice anon I would post it. I took some liberties to adjust the story line including the ending. have a nice day! 
> 
> find me on tumblr @ wonderwlws

Her wrists burn on the third or fourth week on the ground, the days and weeks have blurred together and she doesn’t actually know how long they’ve been there. A few days on the ground and her wrists burn, that has to be a bad sign right? She climbs to the highest level of the dropship ignoring the stinging pain of her wrists. It takes awhile to find a secluded corner but she does, rolling her sleeves up, it looks like freshly burnt skin but into a slew of letters. 

 

_ Lexa _

 

She knows the stories of your soulmate’s name being engraved into your wrists and your enemy’s on another. But never has she heard of the same name showing up. And should it hurt this much?

 

A bang on the floor and she is brought out of her trance, shuffling to put her sleeves over her wrists. Raven looks over at her with confusion plastered on her face. 

 

“Didn’t mean to startle you, what’s got you all jumpy?” She makes a false jump with her hands raised slightly in the air to mimic Clarke’s actions. 

 

“Um nothing, I’m on patrol with Bell so I should get going.” She pulls her blue jacket out from where she was sitting, tugging it on and making sure her sleeves from the shirt and jacket securely hide her names. She pauses before leaving Raven alone and looks up with curious eyes, “can we talk when I return?”

 

Raven is kneeling and shuffling her tools as she hears Clarke speak up, but she looks at the blonde with her cocky smirk and nods her head. 

 

She’s thankful Raven doesn’t ask what they will talk about, so she gets out of the dropship without any more encounters. Walking up to Bellamy who is already prepared for their patrol. He silently hands her a gun and walks ahead, out of camp and into the woods. She follows mindlessly, only trying to piece who  _ Lexa _ could be and why she has the same name on both wrists. 

 

Bell prompts her to stop and she almost doesn’t, but his hands are on her wrists and pulling her gently. He hides her behind the fallen tree with him, Clarke’s sleeves have risen and his eyes fall to the names burnt on her skin. She pulls them back down and out of sight as they wait for the grounder hunting party to pass. 

 

“Who’s Lexa?” His voice startles her as they start their movements again. 

 

“Apparently my soulmate.” She says it with a sigh, because there is more to it than that but she can’t bring herself to tell anyone. 

 

“And your enemy?” His voice shows no sign of judgement, only curiosity. 

 

“What do I do with that? With the knowledge the person I’m supposed to be with forever is also the person I hate forever?” She gets more frustrated with herself but starts actually paying attention to their surroundings so they don’t pass the marked path Monty set. 

 

“Your enemy doesn’t have to last forever.” His voice is soft and Clarke believes there is more than he is letting on. 

 

“Bell? What does that mean?” Her eyebrows twist with concern and her eyes fill like an ocean with sincerity. 

 

“Nothing. Forget about it, we’re almost done anyway.”

 

The rest of their patrol is drenched in silence and they split from each other immediately once they reach camp. Her eyes follow Bellamy as he enters his tent, should she talk with him? Apparently not at the moment because Raven is in front of her, arms crossed and question plastered across her face. 

 

“What did you want to talk about?” 

 

Does she spill? How do you just tell someone your soulmate is your mortal enemy. Bellamy just happened to find out but this was her blatantly admitting it. 

 

“Another time maybe.” It’s the simplest solution she can think of to get her out of the situation. A conversation for a later date. 

 

—

 

The later date is weeks after Clarke’s escape from the mountain. When she is in camp and playing a game of chess with Monroe, to be exact. 

 

“Need to borrow the princess.” Raven grabs Clarke by the shoulder and leads her into the crashed ark structure, Monroe frustrated with the interruption but blows it off. 

 

“What the hell Raven.” She is muted as Raven gives her a glare that could kill a man. 

 

“Hypothetically, what would you do if your enemy marking just so happens to be the leader of a massive army of grounders with millions more at her beckoning call but you haven’t even personally met the woman yet?” Raven spoke with no periods or pause and just ranted. 

 

Clarke knows the feeling all too well. When Jaha returned with mention of ‘Heda Lexa’, Clarke felt her stomach drop and her heart stop. So how much would she help by just telling Raven,  _ well my soulmate and enemy are apparently the same person and the same woman you are talking about _ . So Clarke tries to look as confused as possible and simply shrugs her shoulders. 

 

Raven seems to take it as the best she can get because she lets go of the tight grip on Clarke’s shoulder and falls back on the metal wall. Clarke sinks down to the floor with Raven, picking at her nails as she speaks up, “My soulmate and enemy are the same person.” It’s not the full truth but having Raven know the woman who is her enemy is also Clarke’s soulmate could rip them apart. 

 

“That’s rough.” Raven says with a groan. 

 

The two sit together for another few minutes before the dinner bell rings. 

 

—

 

The first time she sees her she doesn’t know what to do, her forest green eyes stare into Clarke’s soul. Spinning a dagger on a wooden throne with grounders ready for war at a whim. War paint, which in all honesty terrifies Clarke, stretching across her cheeks and down like blood streaks across her features. Her chin tilts up and her jaw could cut diamonds. 

 

It’s not as ruthless as she expects but the voice resembles that of someone who has been through hell and back. “You’re the one who burnt three hundred of my warriors.”

 

“You’re the one who sent them there to kill us.” It comes out like poison and it makes one of the grounders Lincoln told her about, Indra, lunge forward. 

 

Lexa’s hand raises for her to stop, and Clarke can see the markings of a capital  _ N.  _ Maybe this isn’t the Lexa she is meant to love. Maybe Lexa is a common name among grounders. She crushes the foolish thoughts because Lexa still has another wrist which could confirm or deny her longing questions. 

 

Lexa confronts her and their conversation rises and falls in tension. Indra sends in blind threats a few times but is silenced by Lexa’s curiosity of turning reapers back into men. 

 

It takes time and aggressive stand offs within the dropship before Lincoln returns to his usual self. When they return Lexa walks Clarke to the war room tent. Clarke has been trying to sneak a glance at her right wrist but the commander favors her left, keeping her right hand and wrist hidden. 

 

No one knows which side their soulmate is on, one can only guess, so what if Lexa has Clarke’s name. That could simply mean they are each other’s enemies. The woman on Lexa’s left wrist,  _ Nia _ is her full name, could be Lexa’s soulmate. Clarke knows it’s false hope because if Lexa is on both of hers then she is most likely her soulmate as well. 

 

They discuss further treaties and alliances but Clarke chokes on air when Lexa offers her final decision. Finn. Finn must die. 

 

Clarke puts the pieces together, that is why Raven has her name, Lexa kills Raven’s soulmate. 

 

She leaves without another word to approach Camp Jaha. The decision hanging over her as if the grim reaper is about to cut her string. 

 

Everyone stares. It’s in unison which makes her even more uneasy. They all follow her as she approaches her mother and friends. 

 

She tries to make it as quiet as possible, “She wants Finn.” Raven shouts first. Finn sits in silence unaffected. Abby gawks at the outcome. 

 

“I killed eighteen grounders, she is being merciful. She could take eighteen of us.” Finn speaks up for himself as Raven yells at the mob who is forming around them but Clarke is the only one who hears him. She shakes her head but he just looks emotionless, the same look when he first killed someone. 

 

He sacrifices himself two days later, bringing Clarke, Raven and Bellamy along to watch as he surrenders himself. Bellamy holds Raven as she screams at the grounders and Finn. Clarke stands in shock as her gun drops to the floor. 

 

The entire camp is in silence when they return. It isn’t until night the first noise is made, a guard shouting. Clarke rushes outside, Raven and Bellamy already standing by the fence line. A turn of her head and she sees it. A tree trunk, long and wide for the torture Lincoln told them about. Cuts until he dies. 

 

Raven sneaks a blade into Clarke’s sleeve, not paying attention to the peaking name of Clarke’s soulmate and enemy. She nods in confirmation that she will kill Lexa. 

 

When she gets to the front of the grounders, she knows she won't go through with it. Too many grounders, and she has seen too much death on this cursed earth to kill someone who could be her soulmate. 

 

Indra lets her pass at Lexa’s command, and Lexa lets her say goodbye for one last time. Her hands shake as she goes to hug Finn, he chuckles as if he isn’t going to be tortured. So she knows what needs to be done, doesn’t matter if it kills her but at least Finn won’t be tortured. The blade slips past his skin and the blood drips onto her hand. The reality of the situation hits her as his dying breath hits her face. His thank you echoes in her head as she steps back, the murderous cry from Raven rattles her thoughts, the outlash of grounders shakes her core, but the words of Lexa steadies her hands. 

 

—

 

It’s been days after Finn’s death and the funeral pyre, Raven hasn’t spoken to her in days and after the poison incident Clarke doesn't know if she can bring herself to speak to her friend. Finn haunts her in form of nightmares each night, and each day his words echo through her soul. Making her question whether she did the right thing or not, that’s when Lexa's words both frustrate her and calm her. 

 

_ “What you did this day will haunt you until the end of time.” _

 

_ “We are what we are.” _

 

_ “The dead are gone, Clarke, the living are hungry.” _

 

It takes time to understand Lexa, to understand that each time she speaks she is trying to help Clarke. Each time they speak Clarke recognizes more pieces of the puzzle that is having Lexa as both her soulmate and enemy. 

 

Her thoughts are interrupted by the door of the meeting hall in TonDC slamming into the wall. Raven’s wild eyes are burnt with tears and she looks pained. 

 

“Raven–”

 

“I don’t know what is happening.” She goes to Clarke’s side and rolls up her sleeve. Finn’s name is sizzling, smoke rising and dissipating in the air. Clarke holds the wrist closer to her eyes. Within seconds Finn’s name is gone and Raven’s skin is bare, no sign of any markings lay on her wrists. Their eyes meet and as Clarke’s fill with confusion, Raven’s fill with pain and sadness. 

 

“It’s gone.” It’s obviously gone but the question of why, looms over Clarke. 

 

Another screech of pain and the smell of smoke, Raven’s skin burns. The markings shift on her skin, loops and curls. 

 

_ Bellamy _

 

“How can it just change, Finn only died three days ago.” Raven’s voice is hoarse and the tears continue. 

 

“Just because he is gone doesn’t mean your happiness is gone. It may take time Raven, but life goes on and so will you. Soulmates aren’t a one time thing, they can come in different forms.” Clarke tries her hardest to make sense of why the name would change. 

 

Raven drops to the floor, Clarke follows and wraps her arms around the crying girl. She shifts so Raven’s brace doesn’t twist or break. They sit in silence for hours and lose count of the time. Nothing in the room makes noise except for the occasional sob. 

 

—

 

Her mind wanders after that day, if the names can change even if the owner of the name does not die. TonDC is bombed and Lexa is there for her. She doesn’t know if this is forced or simply because Lexa fully understands, she has been Heda since a child and Clarke is new at decisions that affect lives other than hers. 

 

She sleeps less and screams internally more. Lexa invites her to almost every meeting, Clarke assumes it’s to keep an eye on her so she doesn’t tell anyone about the missile. 

 

They settle into a odd rhythm, Clarke goes into the commander’s tent when she needs a break from the world and Lexa lets her. Lexa has become more comfortable, enough that she sleeps while Clarke goes over plans after plans. It won’t change anything but Clarke needs anything to relax her. 

 

—

 

_ “Not everyone, not you.” _

 

It rings in her ears when she leaves the tent and the relaxation she craves is no longer possible. Her attention and sense are on edge. 

 

“Octavia has nothing to fear from me, Clarke.”

 

She feels the most relaxed when Lexa has finally come to her senses. 

 

“I do trust you, Clarke.”

 

“I know how hard that is for you.”

 

“You think our ways are harsh, but that’s how we survive.” 

 

“Maybe life should be about more than just surviving. Don’t we deserve better than that?”

 

“Maybe we do.”

 

It’s like the first time Clarke saw a sunrise from Earth, the first glowing forest they came across, the first day with rain. No pressure, no demands. Relaxation. Her body’s tension falls and her body tingles. Lexa’s hand rests on her cheek, the soft pad of her thumb strokes over her cheekbone with her forefingers resting beneath Clarke’s ear. Her lips feel like safety, the last time she has felt that was days before Jake’s death. The safety of her lips are welcomed, Clarke lets her own lips open and accept Lexa. Pine trees, she has smelled them when they arrived on the ground, and that’s how Lexa tastes. Like pine trees. 

 

When Lexa’s lips leave hers and her nose brushes as soft as a rose petal on her skin, all of her senses fire off. She still has the danger of Lexa’s name on both rests. So she pulls back a fraction of the space, Lexa looks hurt and it hurts her as well. 

 

“I’m sorry. I-I’m not ready, to be with anyone. Not yet.”

 

Lexa’s eyes soften and Clarke feels a weight being slammed into her chest. But the stoic commander nods with understanding. Luckily before anything turns awkward, there is a shout from hundreds of grounders. 

 

“GON WAR!”

 

—

 

That is why Lexa is both her enemy and her soulmate. 

 

She is the commander of twelve clans. She saves her people and leaves. 

 

_ “I made this decision with my head not my heart.” _

 

_ “I do care, Clarke.” _

 

Anger is a powerful emotion. It overrides the memory of relaxation with corruption and manipulation. It burns down her safety and puts her in a pit with crocodiles nipping at her ankles. 

 

She can’t stay. Bellamy thinks she can but there is a darkness gnawing at her ribs trying to enter her heart. The things she has done, the obstacles she has overcome have finally piled up and the pressure of the mountain crushed the foundation so everything came tumbling down. 

 

The woods are not as welcoming as the ark, and it may be because her heart associates the woods and the trees with the one thing she doesn’t want to know. The earth provides as a way of apologizing, deer are abundant and she learns quickly how to survive. But while her body survives her soul is ripping and fraying at every seam. 

 

Niylah is a help, her bed provides warmth every once in awhile, the house reminders her of the ark, and the feeling of someone else’s skin fills her with the everyday reminder that she isn’t the only person on this cursed land. 

 

But comfort is a temporary thing. 

 

He comes in the middle of the day, looking for the one called  _ Wanheda _ . The term so graciously coined by grounders after she did those heinous acts. He spots Clarke amongst Niylah’s shop but if he recognizes her it isn’t obvious. 

 

He recognized her. 

 

She can tell he recognized her as the rope is tightened around her arms, as the gag is tied to her mouth, as he hooks the rope to another rope like a god damn leash. It’s a trek to wherever they’re going and she struggles, making it ten times harder than what it should be, but the asshole has Azgeda markings on his temples and Azgeda clothes. 

 

The only thing she has heard about them is from Lexa and Octavia. They kill for sport, they kill for fun, they don’t take prisoners and if they do it's to kill them. 

 

So when he tells her not to scream; she screams her pain out, the massacre of the mountain, Wells’ death, Finn’s death, the 300 grounders roasted by the dropship, the village burned by Raven’s rockets, mercy killing Atom, Charlotte. It wasn’t meant to be a scream of pain, just a sign that she is there and needs a distraction. Her mind has had enough of distractions and it lets loose an unholy fury. 

 

He gags her again and rebinds her, and she watches in horror as he kills three men before the first hits the ground. Another three lives on her conscience. 

 

She is tied to a pole in some ruin as the sound of war drums terrorize the valley. And when Bellamy comes she cries, she cries like a goddamn baby. He’s knocked on his back and she can’t deal with another one of her people being killed for her. So with plea after plea, Bellamy leaves with a promise to save her and kill the man. From then on, Clarke makes no moves to run, no cries of terror and no attempts to kill him. 

 

The war drum must have slowed them down because he swears in Trigedasleng and speaks about the order already being far behind. Whatever order Nia has planned for her, she waits for death, maybe she could fulfill her title as  _ Commander of Death _ . 

 

_ “Your heart shows no sign of weakness.” _

 

How wrong could Lexa be, teaching so many lessons and being wrong about the most personal of lessons. 

 

—

 

He moved her while she was sleeping. She wakes in the midst of being pushed to the ground. A bag has been tossed over Clarke’s head but the morning sun burns through the small openings of stitching. 

 

Rage. 

 

It’s all she feels. When the bag raises and the tormentor of her nightmares is standing as an ethereal being with the sun giving her pheonix wings, made of fire. 

 

Her fingers are still delicate as she pulls the gag from Clarke’s face. She still smells like pine trees. But all those safety nets are gone and the crocodiles have devoured her. She does the only thing she can think of, fight. Landing a spit shot on Lexa before being dragged away and calling her a bitch. 

 

—

 

The tattoos taunt her now more than ever. How can she forgive when the deaths of hundreds haunt her, dangling like puppets around her head. 

 

Two weeks of avoidance and she is glad that Lexa hasn’t come to see her, if she had Clarke would lose it. But on the start of the third week Lexa visits, Clarke tries her hardest to ignore the soft voice that has haunted her nightmares. 

 

_ "You're angry Clarke, but I know you. What you've done haunts you and it's easier to hate me than to hate yourself." _

 

“Oh, I can do both.” She’s been doing both since Lexa left her on the mountain, since her hand pulled a second lever that killed over a hundred people. She has learned to hate herself and Lexa. It’s been taunting her, the hate and aggression, every time she stares at her wrists.    
  


When Lexa starts talking about wanting to merge their people by having  _ Wanheda  _ bow to  _ Heda _ her interest is peaked but not to the point that she’ll accept. 

  
"You can't run away from who you are, Clarke. Join me, bow before me, and your people will be safe."

  
"Bow before you? You don't give a damn about my people. I know why you're here I made you look weak at Mount Weather, and now the Ice Nation is exploiting that. Well, if you want the power of Wanheda, kill me. Take it. Otherwise, go float yourself because I will never bow to you."

 

—

 

Roan comes with a plan, one that seems to help both parties. Or he thinks, he never saw that Lexa’s death would destroy Clarke because even if she hates her there is one undisputable fact that Lexa is more important to her than anyone can describe. 

 

The knife he presses to her hand is cold, it reminds her of the metal lever. The grip feels like the same grip that has been burnt into her skin whenever she thinks back to Mount Weather. She nods with agreement, because even if Lexa is her soulmate she made Clarke do something that corrupted her very soul. 

 

She asks the guard posted out front of her room to summon Lexa. 

 

Within the same hour Lexa is in her room, leaving guards outside and trusting Clarke with her life it seems. 

 

She doesn’t see it coming from what Clarke can tell, the cold knife pressed against her throat. Lexa takes a step back from the force of Clarke but she does something that Clarke would not expect. She moves her neck forward, giving Clarke better access to her throat and when Clarke looks up Lexa’s eyes are painful. The once lively forest she saw behind those green eyes has been burnt and scorched and tormented. It’s soft, the softest Clarke has ever heard Lexa speak.

 

“I never meant to turn you into this.”

 

And Clarke’s world shatters. Her own eyes fill with pain and sadness, tears barely being held behind her eyes. She takes a step back, dropping the knife to the floor and stumbling backwards. Her back being turned away from Lexa. Lexa, the girl who turned Clarke into this, this thing that is in pain every minute of every day. Clarke has to let what happened settle into her system, it wasn’t a direct apology nor does Clarke think she’ll ever get one, but it was an acknowledgment that what happened was not meant to happen that way.

 

Lexa leaves to bring Clarke’s mother to retrieve her, but Clarke knows what has to be done. Her people come first and if Lexa is promising a union of people, then it could work. 

 

—

 

Bellamy barges in with a man that Clarke has never seen before, yelling about there being an attack on the meeting. When nothing happens, an Azgeda ambassador stands in the front of audience like he is commander and Lexa’s eyes turn into a wildfire. He shouts about Lexa being too weak to lead and how Skaikru will not survive.

 

Then Bellamy’s radio clicks, Raven’s voice can be heard from the other line along with some static in the background which sounds like crackling of a fire. 

 

“Mount Weather, Bellamy it’s gone. Gina was in there.”

 

Bellamy looks like his entire purpose on this forsaken planet has been stripped from him. The unfamiliar man walks out in rage with Kane following and shouting. 

 

She walks over to Bellamy with compassion in her eyes, she understands better than anyone what just happened. He doesn’t let her speak though, just asks whether she is staying with a liar or coming home. She still doesn’t know where home is, so she stays not because she needs to see if Lexa and her can work as soulmates but because she needs to trust Lexa before leaving her people in the hands of  _ Heda _ . 

 

When the gathering is done and everyone has left, Lexa has finished talking with Titus and she approaches Clarke.

 

It spills from her lips because she just gave Lexa all the power to crush her again, “If you betray me again—”

 

“I won’t.” And then she’s bowing, the great commander of blood bowing before  _ Wanheda _ ,  _ heda bows for no one.  _ When she looks up at Clarke, Clarke can see the vulnerability in her eyes which she has never seen before, like a path has opened in her forest to a place unknown. 

 

“I swear fealty to you, Clarke kom Skaikru. I vow to treat your needs as my own and your people as my people.” 

 

Words have become foreign to Clarke so without speaking she offers her hand to Lexa, helping her stand and when they look at each other Clarke thinks it’s a start.

 

—

 

If she kills Nia on her own, Roan won’t have to fight Lexa and Lexa won’t die. The coup didn’t seem to take Lexa by surprise but she’ll be damned if she won’t try to save Lexa. It seems she was just a pawn in Nia’s game though.

 

Ontari spills her black blood across her face, sending Clarke back to Lexa as a message. One Lexa doesn’t take lightly. Titus seems more shocked and horrified than she does but Lexa has always put stoicism in front of emotions. 

 

She promises herself she won’t watch Lexa die. The man killed three people before one hit the ground, and even that did not deter her from this suicide mission. Lexa’s playing into Nia’s hand and it sickens her. 

 

_ “You’re driven to fix everything, but you can’t fix this.” _

 

Lexa’s voice rings in her head as she paces against the concrete ground in her room. When the first bell is rung she grabs a coat and races down stairs. 

 

Her feet no longer listening to her head. They start a slow jog until she is in the crowd. Pushing and maneuvering until she is at the front of the crowd, right as Lexa is readying for the fight. 

 

“I’m glad you came.”

 

She doesn’t know if her heart is talking or if she even said anything, but she takes in Lexa in her pre-battle glory. 

 

“Me too.”

 

Lexa doesn’t show any emotion but Clarke can see the slip of a smile and it breaks her, if Lexa doesn’t come back it will be her last memory of the great heda smiling for her. 

 

When the fight begins Roan starts strong, but Lexa parries with lithe movements. His sword becomes hers after taking the blade in her hand and gripping. Teeth bared and fire in her eyes, Lexa kicks up and he is knocked back. Roan’s noise begins to bleed at the bridge and Clarke feels pride for some odd reason. 

 

When he steals a spear from the ring guards the crowd roars, half in approval and half in dismay. Lexa stands with a wide stance and both swords ready, her jaw clenched and teeth bared. His spear swings in a fury as he advances, swords and spears clash with the noise quietly echoing in the arena. 

 

In a blink the environment changes because Roan has gotten a step ahead of Lexa, she’s on her back and Clarke thinks this is it. She makes no effort to rise up and Roan is readying his spear to finish it, but Lexa isn’t done. She rolls to the side and kicks Roan’s feet out from beneath him. His spear now in her hands, and the crowd goes silent. 

 

“If you don’t get up you don’t die a prince, you die a coward.”

 

Nia’s voice ends as soon as it began, the spear having been thrown from Lexa into the queen’s chest. 

 

“The queen is dead! Long live the king!” 

 

The crowd in support of Nia is quiet but the crowd of Lexa’s supporters are in an outcry. Clarke doesn’t know when she began to hold her breath but once Lexa looks her way her lungs release all of the air she has held. 

 

—

 

Clarke stands out on her balcony with her sleepwear rethinking the acts of the day. Nia’s body was being prepared for transport so Arkadia can have their peace. Lexa was recovering and in a way so was Clarke. 

 

She begins to head to her bed until someone raps on the door, she opens it slowly and looks out. Lexa stands completely unguarded. There is no armor, no weapons. She stands in front of Clarke with a simple thin gown which dips below her collarbone and  _ is that glitter? _

 

Without saying anything she motions for Lexa to enter, a quick word about changing her bandage and Lexa sits on the bench at the end of Clarke’s bed. 

 

It feels tense as Clarke sits with her but as soon as she reaches for Lexa’s hand she can see the Nia tattoo has began to fade. Her mind hasn’t been on the markings for weeks, but now it’s more present in her mind as Lexa sits in front of her, unarmed and open. It feels intimate, Clarke peels back the bandage to reveal a slowly healing cut. Clarke’s hands move to the straps on the other side of her, ripping a fresh bandage and going back to apply it. 

 

They speak for awhile. Lexa’s words seem to resonate with Clarke more than they would have weeks ago. Lexa telling her that her ambassadors did what they thought was right for their people and so she understands. She realizes as Lexa begins she’s not only talking about the ambassadors but about the mountain. 

 

While they sit for a moment in silence Clarke feels content for a moment but she also knows she still can’t fully trust Lexa. 

 

“Reshop Heda.”

 

“Goodnight Ambassador.”

 

As Lexa leaves her heart starts yelling at her mind while her mind tries to argue its point. She decides sleep is better than bickering about what could have happened. 

 

—

 

Bellamy is an idiot. 

 

Back track. Bellamy is grieving but acting like a child under Pike’s control. Clarke sees his pain as he throws slander in her face about  _ abandoning _ Arkadia. 

 

At least her grief was dealt with while he keeps throwing his anger at grounders instead of facing the pain. She bites back but it only fuels his fire because mentioning how her  _ and Lexa, _ the one who started his anger towards grounders, did not work to her advantage. 

 

She pulls out her bag of low blows. Because she knows Gina wasn’t his soulmate and she knows who was. 

 

“What would Raven think?”

 

His voice stops mid sentence. She can tell they’ve talked about what they mean to each other because his eyes soften and his hands loosen. He sits down in the metal chair across from Clarke, his hands cupping his face. She lowers herself down to his level and coaxes him to speak. 

 

“We need to stop Pike.” 

 

She nods in agreement, glad that she can get the answer she needs before her time runs out and Lexa lays waste to Arkadia. 

 

With Bellamy on board they grab Octavia and Raven to head back to Lexa’s camp. It’s a quiet sneak out even once they are out of Arkadia. But leave it to Raven Reyes to break the silence. 

 

“You and Lexa seem to have gotten close in Polis.” Her head is lowered as she watches her footsteps but her eyes look up at Clarke. 

 

“I’m Skaikru’s ambassador, I am as close as the others.” Clarke keeps her voice smooth because she does not want to have this talk with Raven, not yet. 

 

“The great commander wouldn’t come to the other clans just to deliver a dead body.” Raven chuckles and then stops for a moment to be out of earshot. “She cares for you.”

 

Clarke is stopped with her jaw slowly dropped. “No. That’s not—”

 

Raven grips Clarke’s wrists and pulls down both sleeves. She starts with a smirk like she knew what was going on but then her smirk turns to a furrowed brow and a question on the tip of her tongue. 

 

Clarke moves both her sleeves to cover the markings. “Raven do not mention this to anyone.” 

 

Raven puts her finger over her mouth like a zipper, but Clarke can see the gears working in Raven’s mind. 

 

“Speaking of Lexa. What’s your nemesis tattoo up to these days?” Clarke begins walking forward with Raven in tow. 

 

“It’s actually fading.” Raven looks at her own wrist and Clarke can see the swirls and lines of Lexa’s name fading from Raven’s skin. 

 

It goes back to silence, this time more comfortable and Clarke thinks maybe hers will fade. Maybe it won’t be a struggle of heart and mind. 

 

—

 

Pike’s removal from power brings peace. Skaikru opens their trade routes and gates for the first time. Roan has been accepted by Azgeda with few disputes, Clarke has began to rebuild her relationships within Arkadia. Lincoln and her talk when she’s stressed and he paints with her while in Polis. Octavia has become a great friend to relax with. Her relationship with Raven eases as Raven begins to see Lexa keeping her promises to Arkadia. Bellamy and Raven are enamoured with each other. 

 

On the eve of spring Clarke gets her first sight of grounders during peace. Polis is littered with festivities and people. The ambassadors have the ability to take a week away from Polis to go home. 

 

Clarke’s lost in thought of how peaceful Polis is but is sent back to reality as someone knocks on her door. 

 

“Come in.” Clarke turns away from her balcony, facing the door that slowly opens to reveal Lexa. No armor, no swords, a flower crown sits atop her head and her gown is elegant. An orange and gold tint capture Lexa that Clarke could never replicate in art. She looks like the embodiment of spring. 

 

“Ambassador Griffin, I just wanted to see you before you head home to Arkadia.” Lexa looks nervous, it’s cute. The mighty commander of blood being a nervous around Clarke. 

 

“I am actually not returning to Arkadia.” Clarke walks closer to Lexa, the two standing a foot away from each other. 

 

“May I ask why?” Lexa’s head tilts and a strand of hair falls from her braids, Clarke thinks it frames her face better than before. Knowing Lexa would fix it anyways, she leans closer and moves the strand of hair to behind Lexa’s ear. Her fingers lingering lightly against Lexa’s temple before remembering their conversation so she lowers her hand. 

 

“Polis has become more of my home than Arkadia ever would.” She looks out towards the windows that line her room, the paintings and sketches that litter the desks and floors, the flowers she picked herself when Lexa wanted to show her Polis’ gardens. 

 

“I’m glad, that Polis has become a comfortable place for you.” Lexa was either this close before or Clarke has slowly leaned towards her. 

 

She remembers all the times Lexa has hurt her, the betrayal at Mount Weather, but she will always remember Lexa did everything in her power to fix the effects of her actions. Out of her attempts, Skaikru was safe and welcomed into the coalition, Clarke has found a home. 

 

Clarke’s hands move slowly to Lexa’s cheek, rubbing the pads of her fingers memorizing how they feel like Clarke memorizes the landscapes she paints. She leans into her more, both of their foreheads connecting, and when Clarke makes the final move of pressing her lips to Lexa she feels open. Open enough to hope that this comfort from Lexa is not a temporary thing. 

 

When she pulls back from the kiss in desperate need of oxygen, Clarke can see the tears staining Lexa’s face. Before even receiving a question, Lexa speaks her answer.

 

“I am not sad, Clarke. The last time I felt this way was with Costia and she was taken from me. When I saw your name upon my wrists and when we left Mount Weather I knew that feeling would be a distant memory. I understand if this is not what you want.” 

 

Clarke’s heart breaks. She would have hated Lexa for eternity if the situation was any different, but it’s not and Clarke has learned to care for Lexa again. Her hands slide into Lexa’s hands. “Is love still a weakness?”

 

Shock and confusion paint Lexa’s face, but she answers anyway. “It may be, but I know it better as a strength now.”

 

That’s the answer Clarke needed, she pushes Lexa back a bit towards her bed and when Lexa’s knees hit the edge she bends down. Clarke leans down to kiss her once more and the two fall back onto the bed. Tangling and becoming a mesh of limbs, Lexa’s flower crown a mess on the floor somewhere and their clothes long forgotten. 

 

When Clarke’s long sleeve shirt is removed she pauses for a moment, her wrists have not changed why would they. Lexa coaxes her on with those soft green eyes and she simply hopes Lexa doesn’t notice. 

 

She does, and they stall their intimacy for a moment. Lexa takes her wrists into her own hands. Looking at her name staring back at her twice. She raises Clarke’s wrists and places a lingering kiss to both markings. 

“I hope, one of these days my name will only be here once. Until then, I will do everything in my power for your trust in me to be kept.” She removes her lips after the last kiss and looks up at Clarke, Clarke’s eyes are swelling with tears because she too wishes her marking will change. 

 

For now, she forgets about the markings and falls back down onto Lexa. The two being content with tangling themselves together for as long as they can. 

 

Clarke takes a deep breath before they start anything serious, pine trees. The taste of Lexa’s mouth is pine trees and she thinks if that is the last thing she tastes she will be happy.


End file.
